by David Zonsheine
Thursday, March 25, 2004 -- Rachel Corrie was killed a year ago on March 16, by an Israeli bulldozer trying to flatten a house in Rafah in the Gaza Strip.
To a foreigner it may sound like an unfortunate death in which Rachel, a dedicated peace activist, was killed by mistake during an Israeli action against terrorism. But an experienced IDF officer like me knows that house demolitions have nothing to do with fighting terrorism.
Before I refused to serve in the Occupied Territories, I had been to the Gaza Strip twice. In 1994, the night after the massacre perpetrated by Baruch Goldstein in Hebron, in which 29 innocent Palestinians were murdered during prayer, my battalion was called up to Gaza. Our goal was to repress the riots following the massacre. On the night we arrived, the local battalion we came to assist had killed over 15 Palestinians.
In the morning, we went out on patrol to enforce the curfew on the neighborhood of Sheikh Radwan. We passed by the mourning sheds erected near the homes of the dead from the night before. Near each shed, a riot broke out.
The instructions we received were clear -- as a new company, we were to summon the veteran company to stop the rioting. Within two minutes, three jeeps arrived driving full speed and accelerating into the crowds.
The belief that justice is on our side, and the total faith in our commanders, had blinded us. That was 1994. No buses exploding then, no suicide bombers -- just the common occupation in everyday life.
The second time I was in Gaza was two years ago.
I was a platoon commander near Gush Katif. Gush Katif is the largest settlement bloc in the Gaza Strip, home to a few thousand settlers among a Palestinian population of 1.2 million people. For the first time in my life as an IDF officer, I learned what the Israeli government means when it talks of "exposing an area" for security.
The built area on both sides of the road to Gush Katif had been razed to the ground. It looked like a desert. Hundreds of Palestinian families -- thousands of people -- had lost their homes.
Now you begin to understand what lurks behind this term "Exposure" -- it is a euphemism for destroying Palestinian homes.
Rachel Corrie tried to stop this catastrophe, but couldn't.
For four weeks I led my good soldiers into missions that had nothing to do with Israel security, but rather with maintaining occupation.
We did not stop terrorism -- we were creating it.
It's not until, in a moment of quiet, after the last volley of shots, after the morning "exposures" and the night ambushes, you stop to think for a moment. You are alone. Without your wife, without your friends, without your parents, with no one -- just you.
You stop to ask, what is it you're fighting for if you've already lost the moral basis for fighting, if you can carry out almost everything to the point that it is not clear anymore where the 'red lines' are being crossed -- or if 'red lines' exist at all?
After two years of deliberation and many sleepless nights, I came to the inescapable conclusion that Zionism is not what the zealots have made it to be. Zionism is not about occupation; it is about obtaining a secure and internationally recognized home for the Jewish people.
Rachel Corrie was killed a year after I refused to served in Rafah and the rest of the Occupied Territories. Her death was a reminder of the reasons that made me, a dedicated Zionist officer, decide to continue serving my country within its international borders -- but to refuse to serve the occupation.
David Zonsheine, a software engineer, is the chairman and co-founder of Courage to Refuse: http://www.seruv.org.il ... the Israeli movement of combat officers who refuse to serve in the occupied territories.
http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?SectionID=22&ItemID=5216 Original article